WIBTA for Telling My MIL to Stop Posting AI Photos of Me?
When it comes to family dynamics and social media, things can get a little tricky. If you’ve ever felt uneasy about your private life being shared online, you’re not alone. Recently, I’ve been facing a situation with my mother-in-law (MIL) that’s really got me questioning how much control I should have over what gets posted about me—especially when it involves something as personal as AI-generated photos.
For some context: my husband and I have been together for five years, and throughout this time, I’ve always had a somewhat rocky relationship with how much my MIL shares on Facebook. She’s super active on the platform, posting at least once a day, and honestly, I’ve always been a bit uncomfortable with how much she shares. While I don’t mind her sharing family updates or photos from events, I’ve noticed over the years that she frequently posts pictures of me or my husband without asking, sometimes even sharing moments I didn’t know she had captured. Sure, we’ve had discussions about it before, but nothing serious, and I figured I’d just live with it.
But things have taken a turn recently, and it’s becoming harder for me to ignore. MIL took things to the next level by creating an AI-generated image of my husband and me watching a football game in matching jerseys with his family. The catch? We never actually went to visit them, and we definitely weren’t in those jerseys. I found out about it when my parents called and asked if we’d gone to see his family because they’d seen the post on Facebook. That was my breaking point.
What’s the Big Deal with AI-Generated Photos?
At first glance, AI-generated images might seem harmless. After all, they’re just images, right? But when it comes to AI photos that depict me in situations I wasn’t actually in, it feels like a violation of my privacy. To me, it’s one thing for someone to post a real photo of me, even if I didn’t realize they took it. It’s another for someone to make a fake image of me and then post it publicly without asking. And the fact that she created this image of us spending time with her family when that wasn’t the case makes it feel even worse.
My husband and I have discussed this, and he also feels uncomfortable with the idea of her using AI to create photos of us. We’re not really sure how far this can go—will she create more fake images of us in other situations? It’s unsettling because I feel like I have no control over how I’m being portrayed, especially when it’s in a completely fabricated scenario. My husband agreed that it’s crossing a line, and he even offered to reach out to her and ask her not to create any more AI photos of us.
The Response from MIL: A Bit of a Shock
When we brought up our concerns to MIL, we didn’t expect her to react so negatively. We thought she would understand our discomfort and respect our wishes, but instead, she accused us of being ungrateful. She told us that we had hurt her feelings by asking her not to post photos of us before and that we were being too sensitive. She said I needed to “just let her post what she wants” and that it wasn’t a big deal.
It’s hard not to feel frustrated at this response. I’m not trying to control what she posts, but I do think I should have a say in what’s shared about me, especially when it’s not even a real photo. It feels like she’s dismissing my boundaries and invalidating my feelings. And her reaction is making me question whether I’m being unreasonable for wanting to maintain some privacy.
My husband, though, is uncomfortable too. He agrees that the AI photo thing crosses a line. But, on the other hand, he feels like it’s not worth arguing over the regular photos she posts of us because he’s gotten used to it. I’m not sure how to navigate that. It feels like I’m expected to just accept everything without voicing my discomfort, which isn’t something I’m okay with anymore.
Am I the Asshole for Asking Her to Stop?
The core of the issue is this: do I have the right to set boundaries around what gets posted about me, especially when it involves AI-created photos that aren’t even real? Is it unreasonable for me to ask my MIL to stop posting pictures of me (or creating fake ones) without asking for my permission first?
I’m starting to think I’m not being unreasonable. It’s one thing if she shares a candid photo from a family gathering. It’s another if she’s creating fake images and posting them for everyone to see. It’s about having control over how I’m portrayed, especially in a public space like Facebook, where people—some of whom I don’t even know—can see it. Social media is public, and I don’t want to be included in something that’s completely fabricated.
That said, I’m also aware that MIL has always been very active on Facebook, and she’s probably not trying to be malicious. She likely just sees this as fun or harmless, and it’s clear that she’s offended that I’m asking her to stop. But even though I don’t want to hurt her feelings, I also want to maintain my privacy and set boundaries. If I don’t speak up now, I’m afraid it’ll just keep happening.
How to Approach the Situation
I’m wondering how to approach this without creating a huge rift in the family. I don’t want to start a fight or come off as controlling, but I also need to stand firm on my boundaries. One possibility is for me to have a direct conversation with MIL, explaining why the AI-generated photos bother me and why I’d like her to ask for permission before posting anything involving me. I also want to emphasize that I’m not trying to control her, just that I’d like a little more respect for my privacy.
My husband is going to back me up on this, and I think that will make it easier for her to understand that this isn’t just me being “sensitive.” We both agree that we need to draw the line when it comes to things like AI photos because they’re not even real. But we don’t want her to feel like we’re attacking her or trying to take away something she enjoys. Hopefully, we can find a way to express our concerns without making her feel unappreciated.
some comments
So, here’s the question: WIBTA for telling my MIL to stop posting AI photos of me? I really don’t think I would be the asshole, but it’s hard to balance standing up for my privacy and not hurting her feelings. Social media boundaries are tricky, and it feels like a fine line between what’s acceptable and what crosses a boundary. I just want to feel respected, and for once, I’m ready to speak up and set clear limits. Hopefully, with open communication, we can find a way to respect each other’s wishes without causing a rift.
