Family Conflict Ignites as Neglected Daughter Goes No-Contact with Toxic Parents and Favored Sister
I (24f) have always struggled with my relationship with my parents and my older sister (27f). Growing up, I was consistently treated unfairly, overshadowed by my sister’s favoritism, and punished unjustly. As an adult, things didn’t get better. My sister has mocked me, slept with one of my boyfriends, and even tried to flirt with my fiancé, all while my parents have given her preferential treatment and never stood up for me. After years of trying and failing to earn their love and respect, I’ve decided to cut them out of my life. But now that I’ve gone no-contact, I’m starting to question if I did the right thing. AITA for making this decision?
Growing up with my older sister (let’s call her “S”), I always felt like I was the second choice. It wasn’t just the sibling rivalry most families have—this felt more like a constant pattern of favoritism. S was always the golden child. She could do no wrong, and if she ever misbehaved, it was shrugged off. But the minute I did something wrong, no matter how small, I was punished. This started when we were kids, and it never really stopped.
For example, S used to steal my toys and force me to play with things I didn’t like, and no one would say anything. If I complained, I’d be punished. I remember once, when I was sitting in the living room with her and her friends, she would physically push me away or shut me out, and my parents never intervened. The worst part was when she’d accuse me of something, and even if I denied it, I would still be punished. One time, my dad witnessed her breaking something, and instead of acknowledging her mistake, he punished me because she said I did it. This unfair treatment made me feel invisible and completely unimportant.
As much as I tried to be a good daughter and sister, things didn’t get any better as I got older. I hoped that with time, maybe my parents would start treating me fairly, but it never happened. It only got worse as S and I became adults.
Adult Life and Ongoing Issues
As an adult, S’s behavior didn’t improve. In fact, she did some things that I can never forgive. She slept with one of my boyfriends and then lied about it to my friends, making me look like the villain. My parents did nothing to hold her accountable. They never said a word when she mocked me or belittled me. They continued to treat her like the golden child, and I was left feeling like I didn’t matter.
When it came to money and support, the difference was staggering. My parents paid for S’s college education, bought her cars, and gave her hundreds of dollars a month. For me? They gave me a small amount toward college, but there were always strings attached. They visited S more often during college and continued to prioritize her over me, even as an adult. The only time they’d visit me was when they wanted to make me feel small or humiliate me in some way.
Despite all of this, I kept trying to maintain a relationship with my parents and S. I thought maybe things would improve if I just kept putting in effort, but the reality was that it was always one-sided. They didn’t care about my feelings, and they didn’t care to change how they treated me.
The Final Straw
This brings us to the most recent incident that led me to go no-contact. I got engaged, and I was so excited to share the news with my family. But instead of receiving congratulations or even a bit of happiness, my sister tried to flirt with my fiancé and told him that he’d be better off with anyone else. My parents didn’t say a word to her about this behavior. Instead, they just let it happen, and I was left feeling absolutely crushed.
My fiancé was angry on my behalf, and we left the situation immediately. Afterward, he and I talked about it, and he said he thought it would be better for me to go no-contact with my parents and sister. He could see how much their behavior had hurt me, and he didn’t think I deserved to keep putting up with it.
That was the turning point for me. I had tried everything—communication, patience, and understanding—but nothing ever changed. I finally decided that I was done. I sent one last message to my mom, dad, and sister, explaining how they had treated me over the years and how I couldn’t take it anymore. I told them that I was cutting them out of my life for my mental health and well-being.
The Fallout
Since then, things have been chaotic. My mom has been incredibly dramatic about it, texting my friends and posting on social media about how they were such loving parents and how S was an amazing sister. She’s framing me as the villain, saying that I’m excluding them from an important part of my life. I’ve been struggling with the guilt of it all, especially because my mom is playing the victim, but deep down, I know I did what was best for me.
Even though I feel like I’ve made the right decision, the guilt still lingers. Should I have tried harder? Should I have kept pushing for a relationship with them even though they clearly didn’t care about me? They’ve always treated me as less than, and I’ve come to realize that I’ll never be good enough for them.
Netizens were shocked by the blatant favoritism, but many applauded the poster for cutting off her toxic family for good
Now that I’m no-contact, I can’t help but feel torn. Part of me wonders if I should have tried harder to make things work, but another part of me knows that I’ve done everything I could. They’ve treated me like I don’t matter for my entire life, and I can’t keep allowing myself to be hurt by their behavior. But the drama and guilt are hard to ignore.
So, AITA for cutting my parents and sister out of my life? I feel like I’ve tried everything, but part of me wonders if I could’ve done more. Would love to hear what others think—did I do the right thing, or am I overreacting?
